The Twenty-Something-Year-Old and Her Esophagus

Guess who? The girl who hasn't written in her blog for over a week, that's who!

I apologize for the delay in posts, I have been lazy, but mostly because I have been waiting to hear back from my doctor which was almost too long. But on Monday I heard back from his office, which is good news. However, the bad news is he still doesn't know what to do with me.

This particular phone call annoyed me. Not really because of the uncertainty I was given, but because the person on the other line that said, "I could not continue the manometry." What is this "I" stuff? I wanted to continue the test. I let the doctor shove a probe down my nostril three different times. He even said the motility of my esophagus was what was causing the complication. And I know that this person delivering me this news had no way to possibly know that. All they knew was that it didn't work. I guess it bothered me because the failed test attempt absolutely terrified me. I nearly cried the entire day afterward because I was so traumatized.

Anyway.

That's not the important part. I can't let my pride in my strength get in the way of what was said and what I need to be focusing on: the next step. Basically what's happening (and I am shortening the names of my doctors for reasons) is my current doctor (Dr. S), the one who has been with me since I was 17-years old sent over all of my medical information to Dr. C in Salt Lake City (the doctor who performed my surgery five years ago) and asked him if a larger balloon dilation would help me before performing another Heller Myotomy. Right now, Dr. S is waiting for Dr. C to respond to that question before anything else can happen.

So that's where I am at right now. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Waiting.

It seems to be the nature of Achalasia, I'm always waiting.

Waiting for food to go down.
Waiting for the pain to stop.
Waiting for the pain to start.
Waiting for the doctors.
Waiting for answers.
Waiting for awareness.
Waiting for test results.
Waiting for appointments.
Waiting in rooms.

Waiting, hoping, wishing for a cure.